How do they do that?

FODMAPs are off the menu, and I need to find a whole new way to eat. How am I going to do that, I hear you ask? Well, I've got myself some brilliant help.

I grabbed a couple of books, one of which I carry on me constantly, I've found a brilliant dietitian, and I have joined a really supportive online community who are there to support when I'm desperate for a little garlic, or trying to find something to replace onions in my recipes.

That's right, onions and garlic are off the menu, and for someone who is regularly told off for adding too much garlic to every dish they cook, it's all a bit of a struggle. Apples are gone, mushrooms and I have split up, I won't look at asparagus again. I'm looking for gluten-free alternatives to my favourite things, I've swapped my milk for something called rice dream, and I'm cooling off all summer with frozen coconut milk.

Every day will be a challenge, a casual trip to the supermarket now takes over an hour while I check every packet for hints of things I'm no longer allowed. There's going to be a lot more cooking at home, and I'll be documenting it all here, as well as on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram - because why not go all out.

So far, it's been just over a fortnight following the plan and some days are easier than others, but the benefits are well worth it. I've lost a dress size in bloat, I'm sleeping better, and, best of all, my gut seems to have calmed down a lot. Surely, it's worth all the moaning and lack of garlic bread. We shall see...